The Art of Letting Go: Walking in Tandem with Spirit

Vanessa Kredler Author

Going back to basic recovery principles: Defining a Higher Power

Key summary

Surrender is not a loss of control, but the ultimate act of aligning with a power greater than myself. By returning to the foundational practices of recovery and maintaining a constant, daily consultation with Spirit, I am moving from a life of fear-driven survival to one of divine partnership, inner sanctuary, and profound peace.

It starts with Surrender

There is a moment in every journey where the grip finally begins to loosen. For so long, parts of me have been holding on so tightly—to outcomes, to worries, and to the burden of believing that they have to do it all alone.

Recently, the physical and emotional shifts of menopause have forced a surrender upon me. My whole system is being rearranged. It wasn't a choice; it was an invitation to stop trying to force the river and instead begin to swim with the current. Some of my protector parts, those faithful managers, are so good at making things happen and pushing through. But they’ve had to take a step down recently, realising that the body is not the same anymore. My whole system of parts is in reflection mode. My recent menopausal rearrangement has stripped away the unnecessary, compelling me to return to my most essential foundation: the basic addiction recovery practices that ground my soul.

I know from early recovery that the greatest healing force is to develop and nurture a strong relationship with a power greater than myself (I suppose in therapist speak I could even call that a skill—the skill of drawing on a power greater than myself for internal safety and nervous system regulation).

That’s something that I learned in 12-step recovery. In Step 2 (Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity), there is a wonderful exercise where you get to reflect on your personal religious baggage that may be an impediment to developing and drawing on this kind of higher power. Many people have a problematic relationship with spirituality because of a punitive religious upbringing that they now want to distance themselves from, understandably. In Step 2, I get to examine and discard that baggage, and then redefine a higher power that works for me. It allows individual versions of rich spirituality—much different from any traditional religion—and it can be revised and developed at any time as one’s faith and recovery grow. It’s interesting to me that this always worked for me, and now there is even science to prove the important role of spirituality in recovery.

It’s humbling and expansive for me to pay renewed attention to my version of a Higher Power, which I call Spirit. My peace depends on how clearly I define my Higher Power and how closely I walk with that Presence each day. I am learning that my life is not meant to be a solo endeavour, but a constant, daily consultation with the Divine.

Defining Spirit (My Version of a Higher Power)

To keep myself grounded, I return to this truth—this is who Spirit is to me, and who I rely on in every moment. I say ‘who’ but actually Spirit doesn’t have a gender or a pronoun for me. It’s more of a force than a person. An energy.

Spirit, you are always there for me. You are all around me and inside of me. You are ever present. You are abundant. You are gentle, loving and clear in your direction. You are easily heard by me. You are unconditional. You are pure love. You are honesty. You are benevolent and spacious. You’ve always got me. You persevere in your direction when I don’t hear you. You bring me safety and security. You take away my fear when I ask you to. You help me to discern and make the right decisions to do your will and to be of service. You bring me peace and compassion. You bring me miracles. You help me sleep deeply and restoratively and take away my worries and obsessions. You are 1000% trustworthy. You are benevolent energy, the fabric of life. You are pure white, golden, blue, silver light and sparkles. You are substance and beyond. You meet all my needs always. You are my companion and you’ve got my back. I am safe.

Living in the Consultation

Surrender is the bridge between my human experience and this divine partnership. By returning to these daily practices—by sitting in the quiet to consult with Spirit, by checking in before I act, and by offering my worries up to the light—I am creating a sanctuary within myself.

Asking for guidance is not a sign of weakness; it is the ultimate act of alignment. When I hand the steering wheel over, I’m not losing control; the ultimate form of control is to give up all control. That’s freedom and peace of mind to me.

For me, this takes daily practice. My addiction is driven by fear and my brain is wired for survival and orients towards threat. Faith is the antidote to that fear, that survival wiring.

My daily practice is prayerful journaling and meditation in the morning, and asking, listening to (and actually obeying) the guidance I receive. Obeying is very hard and I don’t always do it. But when I do, the outcomes are usually better, even if it doesn’t seem so at the beginning.

As I move forward, I am keeping the conversation with Spirit alive. Whether I am seeking discernment for a decision, comfort for a moment of distress, or simply the restorative rest that is always offered to me, I can remember that I am never alone. The sparkle, the light, and the unwavering companionship I feel are the reality of my path, when I choose to tap into it. I am safe. I am guided. And I am exactly where I need to be.

Categories: : Addiction, Recovery, Spirituality